Day of the Shrink

Drove to Stanford today. The drive is about 60 miles over the Santa Cruz mountains on winding, curvy Highway 17. I had a hard time focusing on driving with so much on my mind. I had to keep reminding myself to stop thinking about negative things. I was running through ideas of what I would say to the doctor, and I've learned in the past to not do that. If I make a list before hand then, that works.

I was really surprised at the difference I felt about the doctor from the last time I saw her. I thought she had already made up her mind about me based upon the consult I'd had with the previous shrink from February who said it was unlikely I was a bipolar. If so, it would be a non specified type. He had also said I was "stable". I had asked to see a shrink so I could get my medication changed because I had been depressed for months. I told him I felt flat. And I wonder if he took it that I meant stable.

Anyhow, the woman doctor I saw today, I saw her a couple weeks ago and when she suggested lithium I refused, when she suggested Neurontin or Topamax I told her I couldn't take them. Neurontin makes me more crazy and Topamax dopes me up. They should have named it Dope a Max. we discussed a few other drugs but did not get anywhere and ran out of time. So I was to make an appt "at the next possible opening" which was not until May 25. And now I'm on the edge, and there's no where to go but down.

Thank heavens the ophthalmologist pulled strings to get me in to see this doctor today. My family doc is connected to Stanford even though the clinic I go to is near home. The Ophthalmologist is also connected to the same clinic. They can all look at a computer and read each other's notes. So, not only did the Ophthalmologist get in touch with the Shrink, but so did my family doctor.

Seeing Doctor Sommer today was very successful. She ordered Abilify for me through the computer and the prescription was faxed directly to my pharmacist. I just love my pharmacist! She works in the Watsonville hospital outpatient pharmacy. Since it's a small hospital there's not a lot of competition for getting RX's filled. Mostly it's nursing staff who get their prescriptions filled there. So, Angela, the pharmacist, and I know each other well. She has been through years of my medical changes. In fact, at one time, I think the business made a lot of money from me. Thank heavens insurance pays for it all!

Before going home  I went over to Stanford Shopping Center. I love going to two stores there. One is Andronico's, a very high-end grocery store, where the wealthy shop. I get some small bakery item each time. Scones and coffee to have on the way home. Don't usually drink coffee, but need the caffeine to get me home.

The other place I like to go is Crate and Barrel. Today I got new 10 oz. glasses. Kats called me just before I left the parking lot to go home. I told him C and B had the mixing bowls we had been looking for. In fact a whole set of them starting from a very small 3 tablespoon size right up to a large salad bowl size. Amazing, for only $30.00 Kats told me to go back in and buy it, put it on my credit card and he would pay.

I went home a happy girl and hopeful the medicine will help me.

The picture was taken from inside the mall, looking out across the garden and one of the fountains.