This is no laughing matter!

My jaw aches, but not from having had a tooth extracted. No. It aches from all the injections of novacaine it recieved that did not suffice to permit the dentist to do his job. As he stared at the monitor he mumbled to his assistant. "Who made the appointment? Didn't they check this? Look how tilted this tooth is."

I asked what he said. At least he was honest and didn't pretend. He told me it concerned him that the numbing medicine wasn't working enough for me. It concerned him that the wisdom tooth was not a straight up pull. It lies somewhat sideways. The roots are curled and stuck into the bone of my jaw. It requires to be surgically removed. He can't do the job. I have to be referred to an oral surgeon.

Did you know that when a dentist gives you novocaine to numb your mouth, he also gives you something else, I forget what it is called, to keep you from bleeding. It's like an amphetamine. So there I was shaking all over. It was the oddest sensation. The room was so cold. I had my jacket on. My fingers tingled. When I got up, I felt lightheaded.

Did I hear her correctly? Take this paper to the front. They will give you a copy of your panorama scan to take to the oral surgeon.

I am shaking uncontrollably. What the heck is the name of that drug? I had it before when I had a breast lump removed and it made me feel the same way.

Epinephine!!!

I find myself at the front desk answering questions. It's odd how many injections were put into the deep recesses of my jaw and I have no trouble talking. No, I don't owe any money since I'm a medi-cal patient. But, please call back and make the new patient appointment to see about the night guard, and price quotes.

I look over to Kats and he sees I am there. I have to wait for the woman to bring out the xray, so I sit beside him. He takes my hand and squeezes. Yes, that feels better. But, my legs they are jumping around. He places his foot on top of one of mine. Funny how something like that can trigger a collapse of the heebie jeebies.

Out in the car I call and make the appointment with Dr. Tarsitano. I've seen him before, years ago. But, I don't remember anything further than that. I am told the next available appointment is for sometime in November.

I'm glad I know how to advocate for myself.

"It's kind of an emergency. I have just been diagnosed with Leukemia. I need to have the tooth removed before I can begin chemo. Is there any chance---"

She interrrupts, "Hold on a second. I'll see if we can get you in any time sooner."

I hold the line thinking maybe they could squeeze me in about two weeks.

"We can get you in on Thursday morning at 8:30. But it can't be with full sedation. It will be with laughing gas. He has five other surgeries to do that day. This is the only thing I can give you."

I gratefully accept the appointment, though I hate to arise early. I cant trust my body to be feeling well at that time of day. I will automatically be stressed by that. I'm such a wimp. I need my beauty sleep, and if I have to get up early, I'm all out of sorts, bitchy, confused, forgetful, on edge. How will I go through with this on Thursday morning at 8:30 am? I don't know. I just will do what I have to do!

Life is always full of changes and challenges and sometimes wonderful respite. Looking for a respite just now, please. Anybody?

Dang, maybe sometime in November or in two weeks I could get a respite squeezed in.

Am I using that word correctly? Respite? Like in, "Give me a Break!" Okay, that sounds too desperate. I just need some chill. That's it. I be chillin'.

And I worry. If the roots of the tooth are curved and stuck into the jawbone, doesn't that constitute major surgery? Wouldn't that be better done under anesthesia and not novacaine and laughing gas? What is laughing gas anyway?

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Pictures are of

Buffy "da Bampire Flayer",

Me "arted" with photoshop. I just love messing with things.

Lover's Point, Pacific Grove CA. I can't remember if I took that picture or if Kats did.