Trying to Stay Positive with Pills
I have "forgotten" to take my pills regularly lately. I know part of it is stress. When I get stressed I can't think straight. First, I am focused on the problem at hand and I forget to eat, therefore I forget to take my seizure medicine. Then I end up with a seizure or two.
Don't worry, I don't have the kind where you fall crashing to the floor. But, just spacing out can knock down my ability to follow through on things. So, once I have the seizure, I forget that there is anything important to do. (like take my meds!) It's actually nice in a way. I just feel so pleasantly spaced out and unaware... kind of dreamy... sort of like a short trip to LaLaLand. Even after the "trip" is over, it's not over, because I don't just return to whatever it was I was doing with the same intent of purpose as before. Oh, I'm not mindless. I just don't care. If someone reminds me, "did you eat? did you take pills?" I'm on track.
To complicate matters is the ongoing nausea from the chemo pill... Dasatinib/Sprycel. So, if I am feeling nauseated, I don't eat. If I don't eat, I don't want to take pills, any pills, on an empty stomach. Because of the chemo pill, I can't take the typical tummy relief pills other people take. So, basically I just have to live with it and do what millions of people have done forever. Live with it the best I can. It's obvious to me that this is part of the problem of why I "forget" to take my pills.
But, here I sit today, feeling sorry for myself. I know I MUST take the seizure medicine. It's in my hand but just the idea of putting that sweet thing on my tongue to suck on it until it is absorbed makes me want to hurl. Hmm... I wonder if there's a suppository.
Needless to say, it's hard to stay positive today.